I’ve re-discovered the book, Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi which is one of my favorites books post college.
The major premise of the book is that our success in life is greatly influenced by the “social capitol” created by the relationships we develop and maintain over time.
Sadly, maintaining our social connections gets harder as we get older. With competing priorities and more responsibility, our social circle becomes smaller with each passing year.
Studies have shown that a lack of social connection has a negative impact on our career advancement, mental health and life span as we age.
So What is Social Capital?
Ivestopia
Social Capitol Definition: “The potential to obtain resources, favors, or information through personal connections.” from
Our early ancestors bonded through social connection to form communities and barter for goods & resources in order to survive harsh conditions for thousands of years.
As human beings, we are wired for social connection. Bad things happen such as lack of resources, depression and poor health when we become socially isolated.
The Social Capital Problem
The majority of people do not understand the value of social capitol as a result of building strong personal and professional relationships. This may be explained by the following:
- Western Society Values the Successful Individual Narrative
A quote from Never Eat Alone: “America cherishes John Wayne Individualism. People who consciously court others to become involved in their lives are seen as schmoozers, brownnoser, smarmy sycophants.”
The individual success story is a popular false narrative. In most cases, you will discover that the people we admire have mentors and a tribe of like minded people that helped them achieve the success we celebrate. There is truth in the quote, “it’s not what you know but who you know” when it comes to personal success in all forms.
2. Lack of Social Capital is impacting Career & Finances
With growing economic volatility, we are all becoming free agents with the rise of company layoffs and contract employment.
In many white collar job fields, it is taking longer for recently laid off employees to find new employment. In some cases the job search is taking as long as 8 to 12 months to find a new job.
This is also financially stressful as the average unemployment term is 4 – 6 months while the average monthly house hold spend is around $4000.
People who maintain good working relationships with managers, coworkers and former colleagues are more likely to use their social capital to secure new employment when the worst happens.
3. Your Health Depends on It.
In a Harvard Health Medical school article they explain that healthier personal relationships lead to longer and healthier life as we get older.
As quoted in the screenshot below:
“Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.
Conversely, a relative lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline, as well as with increased mortality.”
Harvard Health Study – “Strengthen relationships for longer, healthier life”
Build Your Social Capital
I wrote this blog article as a wake up call for you to re-establish meaningful relationships with your personal and professional circles of connection.
Develop the habit of building and maintaining your relationships through the following:
- Re – Prioritize your personal and professional relationships.
Re evaluate your current schedule and responsibilities. Move things around in order to put focus on reconnecting with the people that mean a lot to you.
2. Schedule recurring time per week or by month to make contact with your social connections.
Any method of connection is better than no connection. The method that will yield the best value over time is when you can meet in person when possible.
3. Find ways to be of service to the people in your network.
Your connections will appreciate your willingness to help out. You will benefit from the law reciprocity down the road, provide value but don’t keep score.
You will build social capital by making your relationships a priority, scheduling time to connect and offering help when you can.
